Why 'Practice Makes Perfect' Is a Myth
I still remember the advice my high school speech teacher gave me before my first big presentation: "Just practice it over and over until you can say it in your sleep." So I did exactly that. I rehearsed those same words hundreds of times, memorized every gesture, and could practically recite the entire thing backward.
When the day came, I walked to the front of the room feeling prepared. And then something happened partway through: a classmate asked a question that wasn't in my script. I froze. All that practice, all that memorization, and I had no idea how to adapt.
That day taught me a lesson that has shaped my approach to speaking ever since: there's a fundamental difference between practicing for perfection and preparing so you can be present.
The Seductive Trap of "Practice Makes Perfect"
"Practice makes perfect" is one of those sayings we accept without question. Conventional wisdom tells us that if we're nervous, we should simply rehearse more. If we stumble over words, we should repeat them until they're flawless. If we're worried about forgetting our content, we should memorize every sentence.
This approach seems logical, and it does provide a certain comfort. When you've rehearsed something a hundred times, it feels like you've built a safety net. But communication that moves people and creates lasting impact rarely follows a perfect script.
When we focus solely on memorizing and repeating content, we're building what I call "brittle confidence." It works beautifully under ideal conditions, but shatters the moment something unexpected happens:
A Technical Glitch: The slides won't advance or the microphone fails.
An Engaged Audience: Someone asks a clarifying question or challenges your premise.
A Time Change: You're told you have 15 minutes instead of 30.
Your Own Humanity: You lose your train of thought or mispronounce a word.
More importantly, repetitive practice often creates a disconnection from your message. When you've said the same words in the same way dozens of times, they lose their meaning for you (which keeps you in your head instead of your heart), and consequently, their power to move others.
A More Powerful Approach: CORE Repatterning
Instead of just papering over the symptoms of anxiety with more practice, a more effective method is to address the root cause. At Yes You Can Speak, our work is centered on a concept we call CORE Repatterning.
This approach focuses on releasing the underlying neural patterns that trigger your speaking anxiety in the first place. This way you can build a foundation of inner steadiness so you can be present and adaptable, no matter what happens. Here’s what that looks like in practice.
The Three Pillars of Effective Preparation
1. Embodiment Over Memorization
Instead of memorizing scripts word-for-word, we focus on helping you embody the essence of your message. This means internalizing your content so deeply that it becomes a part of you.
Understand Your Why: Get crystal clear on why this message matters to you personally. When you speak from a place of genuine conviction, the words flow more naturally.
Internalize Key Concepts: Know your material so well that you could explain it five different ways. This frees you from the prison of a single script.
Connect Emotionally: Find the personal stories and experiences that make your content come alive for you. If you feel it, your audience will too.
Build Flexible Frameworks: Create loose structures (e.g., three key points, a central story) that guide you without constraining you.
When you truly embody your message, you share rather than recite.
2. Resilience Over Rigidity
Traditional practice creates rigid pathways that can break down when you’re under pressure. Once you release past difficult moments through CORE Repatterning, you can build the mental and emotional resilience to navigate any situation with grace.
Scenario Planning: Instead of practicing the "perfect" delivery, practice handling imperfections. What would you do if you lost your place? If someone interrupted?
Mindset Shifting: Develop the ability to reframe challenges as opportunities. See a tough question not as an attack, but as a chance for deeper clarification.
Somatic Practices: Learn to stay grounded in your body even when your mind is racing. Simple breathing and grounding techniques can be game-changers for managing nerves in the moment.
Recovery Skills: Build your capacity to bounce back gracefully from a mistake. The audience doesn't remember the stumble, but they may remember how you handled it.
This approach creates speakers who are steady and responsive rather than brittle and reactive.
3. Connection Over Performance
The most profound shift happens when we move from trying to deliver a perfect performance to focusing on creating a genuine connection.
Audience Awareness: Develop your ability to read and respond to your listeners' energy. Are they engaged? Confused? Excited?
Authentic Presence: Give yourself permission to be genuinely yourself rather than playing the role of a "perfect speaker."
Service Orientation: Shift your focus from "How am I doing?" to "How can I serve my audience?" This transforms your energy from anxious to generous.
Your Invitation to Try Something New
So if you've been caught in the cycle of over-rehearsing and still feeling anxious, I invite you to try a different approach for your next presentation:
Spend less time memorizing exact words and more time connecting with why your message matters to you.
Instead of rehearsing the same way repeatedly, practice explaining your ideas in different ways to different people.
Focus on building your capacity to stay present and grounded rather than trying to control every variable.
Trust that when you truly know and care about your material and focus on serving your audience, the right words will come.
Remember, your audience doesn't need you to be perfect. They need you to be present, authentic, and genuinely helpful. This kind of preparation that builds real confidence from the inside out, can't be achieved through repetition alone.
