What Does Executive Presence Mean When Your Boss Says It?

"Your work is great, but we'd like to see more executive presence."

If you've heard some version of that in a review, I'd bet you walked out with more questions than answers. Does it mean talking louder, wearing a sharper blazer, or turning into the person who takes over every meeting?

It likely hurt to hear it. On the outside, you nodded and said, "That makes sense." On the inside, a voice you've heard for years started up again, the one that wonders if you'll ever be enough of a leader no matter how hard you work.

The presence your manager is looking for is already in you, the same calm, clear person who shows up one-on-one or explains something you love. You just need to give that part of you permission to own the room when the stakes are high.

What Does Executive Presence Mean?

When most managers say executive presence, they're hoping to see you being:

Clear
Decisive
Authentic
Presence
Influential
Confident
Composed
Calm under pressure
Strong communicator
Emotional Intelligence

They want to count on you, especially around senior leaders.

You most likely already have it. Think about how you are with your own team at the whiteboard, relaxed and clear and feeling like you own the room. That's leadership presence, and it's still in you when the VP or C-Suite walks in. It just gets harder to find when you feel you may be judged.

Why Does It Disappear Around Senior Leaders?

Your body is trying to protect you. When people with power evaluate you, your nervous system often treats it like danger, even when everyone in the room respects you.

Every one of those nervous system responses made sense once upon a time. Maybe speaking up got you in trouble growing up, or someone embarrassed you in front of others when you were younger. Because of these situations, your nervous system learned to keep you safe by keeping you small, and it simply never got the memo that you're in a different room now.

Maybe your heart starts pounding, and your body collapses a bit the second the CEO joins the call, and your words rush out faster than you want them to. Maybe you say a bunch of filler words like "Good morning, ah, everyone, I hope you're doing well, ah, and um, I'd like to tell you today about all of the great progress we're making on our project." When you use ahs or ums, it sends a message of uncertainty to both you and your audience.

The reason many begin speaking this way is that performance anxiety typically surfaces most intently in the first 60 to 90 seconds, and cortisol is coursing through the body, which makes it difficult to think and therefore speak clearly.

Looking at that opening sentence again, what I'd prefer is for you to take a breath, put on a big smile and say, "Good morning! I'm happy to report that we're making great progress on our project!" Simple, clear, and strong, which will make people lean in and respect you. Taking a breath and pausing immediately sends a message that you deserve to be in that room.

Since it takes just a split second to make a great, or not so great, first impression, it's important to realize that you can't think your way out of your nervousness. You must move your body, especially your feet, to calm down and then use your mind to channel that energy into success instead of failure.

Why Does "Just Speak Up More" Feel So Hard?

Gosh, for me, because I was so shy, speaking up felt like mustering enough energy to blast my idea through a 30-foot-thick brick wall….My nervous system felt unsafe, but my brain said, "You must speak," so I did. My words landed with an awkward force, and I felt so inauthentic saying them. Needless to say, executive presence was nowhere to be found.

Oh, I tried every tip. I hid behind perfectionism, over-prepared for everything, and even led Toastmasters. The techniques pretty much got me through the moment, and then I'd go home drained and already dreading the next one.

What finally changed things for me was healing the fear in my body. Over time, my nervous system learned it was safe to be seen. I noticed I was slowing down, eye contact started to feel easy, and one day I realized I was actually enjoying answering a difficult question. Today I speak in rooms of 500-1,000 people, and because I've learned to trust myself, I can take up space, be present, influence, and thoroughly enjoy the experience. I find it remarkable that in college I would have told you that I'd rather die than get on a stage.

How Do You Build Executive Presence That Lasts?

It starts with helping your body feel safe, one situation at a time.

The next time a senior leader asks you a question, feel your feet on the floor and let your breath out a little slower than you breathed in. That small pause gives your thoughts time to arrive, and to everyone in the room, it looks like calm.

When you're ready to go deeper, I'd love to help. In Speak & Lead Like a Pro, we do this healing together in a small, supportive group over six weeks, and CORE Repatterning offers a one-on-one experience that identifies and eliminates the root causes of your fear.

A Few Things People Ask Me

Do I have to become louder to have executive presence? Maybe. If you tend to mumble or soften your voice under pressure, slow down, enunciate your words, and speak so the person farthest away can hear you.

What should I do to look composed? Learn to feel comfortable pausing. Great leaders take up space with their body and with their pauses. Keep your posture strong. Keep your face looking relaxed. Instead of reacting out of emotion, when someone says something that feels harsh, ask, "Help me understand ……"

What should I ask my manager about executive presence feedback? Let them know that you’re taking their suggestion seriously and ask for one or two specific moments they noticed. Real examples turn a vague label into something you can work with.

You're More Ready Than You Think

If you'd like to talk specifically about how to create better executive presence, we'd love to hear from you during a free Speaker Breakthrough Call. Or come join us at our free workshop, The Speaking Workshop for People Who Dread Speaking Workshops, where you can breathe, be yourself, and feel what this work is like.

Your voice is already enough. We're just going to help you step into it.