Is Body Language Really 93% of Communication?

You spend three days getting every word of your quarterly update just right, and then someone at a leadership training tells you that words are only 7% of communication. You close your laptop that night with a knot in your stomach, wondering whether all that time and effort you put into the words even mattered.

You've likely seen the numbers on a slide somewhere: 7% words, 38% tone of voice, and 55% facial expression, which often gets repeated as body language. They get quoted in trainings, on LinkedIn, and in books, and many people walk away believing what they know matters far less than how they stand.

So, is body language really 93% of communication? No, and the researcher whose studies the numbers come from has said they only apply in a narrow case. His work was about how people read feelings from single spoken words. Your words matter a great deal, and your voice and body show people how much you care.

Here's what I've learned after all these years. The people who struggle most with speaking are usually the ones who care the most, and that care is exactly what an audience wants to feel from you. The most helpful thing you can do is channel that care into serving your audience, so they feel your heart.

And all the speaking tips, frameworks, and performance hacks in the world won't help if your nervous system still feels threatened when you're in the spotlight. Once you feel safe and speak from your heart, your voice and body will carry the frequency of the feeling behind your words.

If you'd like to experience how transformative our work is, join our next free 90-minute workshop, From Fear to Free: A Different Kind of Speaking Workshop. It’s on Tuesday, November 24th at 11:00 am PT. You can save your seat here: Free Public Speaking Class.

Where Does the 7-38-55 Rule Come From?

It comes from two small studies that psychologist Albert Mehrabian and his colleagues published in 1967. In one, people heard single words like "dear" or "terrible" said in a warm, neutral or unfriendly tone. In the other, they also looked at photos of faces. Each time, they judged how much the speaker liked the person they were talking to. When the word and the tone sent mixed signals, people trusted the tone and the face.

Mehrabian combined those results in his 1971 book, and that's where the famous 7% words, 38% tone and 55% facial expression came from.

Mehrabian says on his website that these numbers only apply when someone is talking about their feelings or attitudes. So when you walk the leadership team through a budget, an architecture decision or a product roadmap, your words carry far more than 7%.

So How Much Do Words Matter?

“A lot. Your words are how you explain what you know, whether that’s the numbers, a way of doing things, a decision, or a plan. Your tone of voice and your facial expressions show the room how to feel about it, and whether they will trust you enough to take it in. When your words and your delivery match, people hear you clearly. When your voice tightens and your face is devoid of expression, the room feels your tension and disconnect before it ever reaches your ideas.

I haven’t found a study that puts a percentage on words, tone, and facial expressions, but suffice it to say that your listeners need both your words and your aligned delivery. The two work together.

Why Do So Many Smart People Believe Their Words Don't Count?

Because the statistic is everywhere, and it fits a fear many analytical people already have: that everyone is watching how they come across more than listening to what they know.

I know that fear. For me, because I was so shy, speaking up felt like mustering enough energy to blast my idea through a 30-foot-thick brick wall. My words landed with a ridiculously awkward force, and I felt so inauthentic saying them. I knew my material inside and out, and the room still felt my tension and panic more than my ideas. I think about that younger me with so much compassion now, because she had plenty to say and was convinced it just wasn't safe to say it.

I see the same thing happen to so many of the engineers and executives I've coached. They walk into a room and speak, but their message doesn't land the way they intended. Ten minutes later, someone else says essentially the same thing, and the room gets it. It’s sad, because they don’t believe in themselves enough. Even though their ideas are brilliant, they question themselves during delivery and lose the energy behind the words. In cases like these, I don’t give up, so I keep seeing the potential in people until they see themselves.

For so many of us, the nervous system learned early on that being seen could be risky. So when the spotlight is on you, it does its job. Your voice constricts, you speed up, your face has no emotion, and your shoulders creep up toward your ears. They can hear your words, but your body is broadcasting "I'm not safe here" right over the top of them.

That's a conditioned response, and your nervous system can unlearn what it learned.

What Do Your Voice and Body Actually Tell the Room?

They tell people how you feel about what you're saying, and whether you feel safe saying it. This part of Mehrabian's research is quite accurate.

Often we think the audience is studying our hands and our posture, but honestly, they're mostly listening for two things: whether you believe in what you're saying, and whether you care about them. When your tone and your face say yes, your words land. When your body is bracing for impact, even a great idea sounds uncertain.

You shouldn't have to choose between being smart and being heard.

What Is Speaker Mode, and Why Does It Make Your Words Fall Flat?

Speaker mode is the stiff, careful voice many of us switch into the moment we present, and it pulls us out of our heart and up into our head.

Many people unknowingly speak in a public-speaking voice, which typically takes us from our heart to our head. In that mode, there's no smile and no warmth, because some part of you has decided you have to be perfect.

The way out is to come back to being a human talking to other humans. "You open your body, you connect with your eyes, you drop your focus down to your heart. You go into service mode." As far as I’m concerned, who you're being when you speak matters the most.

How Do You Make Your Words Land with Heart?

Let your voice carry the feeling behind your words, and the simplest place to start is your vowels.

I'd love for you to try this out loud right now. Say "thank you" the way you'd say it in a meeting. Then say "thaaank you!" and let the vowel stretch, and notice how much warmer the second one feels. Elongating your vowels takes you from your head to your heart, and the person hearing it feels valued. It even works in texts and emails, so go ahead and add a few extra letters to “thaaaaank” or "youuu" the next time you thank someone.

Before you speak, put a hand on your heart for a moment to remind yourself where you want to speak from, because your attention will automatically try to climb back up into your head. Then get comfortable with pauses. Take up space, keep your posture strong and your face relaxed, so your body tells the room you belong there.

One of our clients, Suchita Shankar, said it beautifully after working with us: "I've been taken more seriously in the past four weeks than I have in the last two years." GO Suchita!!

If you'd love to find your authentic voice alongside people who are just like you, Speak & Lead Like a Pro starts again in January, in person in San Jose, CA, or online.

Questions I'm Asked

Is the 7-38-55 rule true?

Only in a very narrow way. In Mehrabian's experiments, when a single word and the tone of voice sent mixed signals about how the speaker felt, people believed the tone. For the content of a meeting, a pitch or a status update, his numbers don't apply, so keep investing in what you want to say.

Does body language matter when I present?

Yes, very much, because it signals whether you're confident and whether you care. Open your body, connect with your eyes, keep your posture strong and your face relaxed, smile, and let your pauses take up space too. Your audience will trust you more when your body and your words agree.

Should I spend more time on my slides or my delivery?

Get clear on the two or three points that matter most, then practice saying them out loud. I find recording yourself even better. Just watch it the first time through without sound. It'll be easier on you if you dread seeing yourself speak, and you'll see exactly how you’re coming across.

What if my voice shakes even when I know my material?

Your audience will rarely detect it. A shaky voice comes from a nervous system that still believes being seen is dangerous, and that's exactly the pattern we help people release.

If you'd like us to walk beside you as you find a voice, join our next free 90-minute workshop, From Fear to Free: A Different Kind of Speaking Workshop. It's virtual on Tuesday, November 24th at 11:00 am PT. Nobody is ever put on the spot. You'd be so welcome to save your seat here:Free Public Speaking Class.

You can do this! ❤️